DAY 84 – FERRY TO RHODES
Woke at nine to find that Sheltered Dave had organised ferries and everything. You’ve got to love those Canadians.
The ferry to Rhodes was uneventful except for the live show. No moaning this time but three dancing girls instead. After the show Monkey tried to convince me that the dancing girls were ‘prostitutas’ and that I should go and talk to them for him. Tempting as that sounded I decided to head upstairs for another rubbish nights sleep on a cold metal deck.
HOW TO TELL IF YOU ARE IN A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY
Now that I am in the west I have had some time to think about what defines the first and third world.
If you want to know if the country you are in is a third world country of not you could call on economic indicators like, average income, doctors per capital or the number of even cell phones per capita. If you are a tourist this information can be a little hard to come by so I have come up with two other equally accurate measures that can be used to judge ‘third worldness’.
The amount of cigarette advertising you see has a strong negative correlation to strength of the economy. The logical reason being that developing countries can’t afford to say no to the big sums of cash that cigarette companies offer. And it’s not like third world governments have to pay for any of the expensive modern medical care that you get in the west. In the third world when you get a smoking related illness you are left in your own home while your bereaving relatives wipe what’s left of your insides from your mouth and nose as the last of your life slips away from you.
One thing the shear amount of cigarette advertising (TV, movies, billboards, magazines etc) I have seen has opened my eyes to that our first world governments are deliberately keeping stuff from us. Like that fact that smoking not only makes you look super cool, rugged and sophisticated but it also helps you hook into some real top shelf pussy. For you ladies smoking will help you land that rich handsome young sugar daddy with the flash car that you are all after. The truth really is out there folks all you need is to know where to look.
Another excellent indicator of third worldness is honking. To test the country you are in use the following method. Go to the biggest street in the city you are in and count the number of honks you can hear in one minute. If this number exceeds one hundred then you are definitely in the third world. If the number exceeds two hundred then you are probably in Morocco or Egypt. If it exceeds four hundred then you are in Cairo, where is your wallet?
