DAY 80 – TEL AVIV (FRI)

I went to the fantastic Tel Aviv beachfront and met an Israeli women who is sick with worry because her sons have been called up for active duty and she doesn’t want to see any of then die. She said “When I see a Palestinian women on TV say they are prepared to lose two of their four sons to force the Israelis into the sea I wonder how we can deal with such people.” She also told me that thirty years ago she found a book in an abandoned school that was used to teach maths to Palestinian kids. The book had examples along the lines of ‘if you have five Israeli soldiers and you shoot three of them how man do you have left?’ It just goes to show you reap what you sow and if you poison you children’s minds with hate from day one then you are going to live with consequences.

She also said that Tel Aviv is the city that never sleeps so I decided pop out a little later on a have a look around :)

Back at the hostel I was offered a job at a club for the night. The job involved setting up and dismantling the tables, picking up a few plastic cups and keeping an eye on the bogs at an outdoor club on Tel Aviv’s beachfront. I didn’t occur to me that I was breaking the law by working without a visa until later on when I found out the club I was at had paid the police not to raid the joint and check visas. Anyway it was a great way to sample Tel Aviv’s ultra-expensive nightlife and earn a few shekels at the same time. It didn’t take me long to figure out why they call Tel Aviv the city that never sleeps. Because most of them are off their bloody tits on ecstasy. My first clue was when one of the baby seals (huge pupils make their eyes look like a baby seal) threw up a stomach full of water onto my leg outside the toilets. It worked out great in the end though as most of the pill heads sat on the same bottle of water all night and I had hardly any work to do.

Before anyone asks (because someone always does), no I didn’t score. I am having a little trouble bonding with the Israelis and the pickup line “Hi I’m the guy who cleans the bogs, fancy a fuck?” doesn’t carry the pulling weight you might think it would.

Oh yeah and there was even four strippers! Three girls and a guy. The girls weren’t that flash and none of them were particularly stoked to be there. The highlight was when the male stripper got up on stage in his g-string and fishnet number and some local guy jumped on the stage ripped down his pants and bent over right in front of the dude. The stripper didn’t seem to see the funny side but fuck I laughed and laughed.

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