I was woken at 2am by a Russian women crying and wailing at her husband in the next room. She went on constantly and didn’t stop. The six of us on the roof next door were all kept up by her racket until the Japanese guy got the receptionist to come up and have a word. This was effective for about two minutes until she started up again. Eventually the fuzz were called by a neighbour and three policemen, nine army guys with automatic rifles turned up. That shut her up. When they got there they knocked on her door and said who they were. She said, “What do you want?” I remember thinking ‘they want you to shut the fuck up you dumb bitch’ (I was very tired). Then they said some other stuff and she said she was pregnant and I remember thinking ‘great, that’s nine people you are keeping awake’. I’d had enough by now. enough of the drama, not enough sleep. So I went down stairs to watch CNN (to try to find out how many pets had been hurt) before my sightseeing tour at 3.30.

The tour started with a walk up Masada for a sunrise photography session. Masada is most famous for being the site where 960 Jews on the run from the Romans killed themselves to avoid capture. What were they thinking? ‘We can really show the Romans by being dead when they knock the front door down.’ I bet the Romans really kicked themselves too. I bet they thought ‘fuck those zealots really showed us a thing or two today.’ This is another perfectly good example of religions fanatics taking their beliefs out on themselves and not other innocent people.

Sun rise at Mosada, Israel

Mosada, Israel

Mosada, Israel

The next stop was the Dead Sea. The Dead Sea is 340m below sea level and nothing grows in except, apparently, four kinds of fungus. The water itself is 33% solid, which means that you float much more than you normally do. Which was kind of fun. Some floating, a few photos, and a couple of mad dashes to the showers to flush burning dead sea water from our eyes we were on our way again.

Floating in the Dead Sea, Israel

Floating in the Dead Sea, Israel

We saw some other stuff later on but it was nothing to write home about.


Got back to the hostel at four in the afternoon and tried to sleep. The still wailing Russian girl and her husband were being kicked out so I took off for a look at the wailing wall. Apparently they are heroin addicts or similar so everyone is pleased to see the back of them.


The Wailing Wall was either packed with orthodox Jews preparing for Yom Kippur or they were having a massive ZZ Top look-alike competition (a cheap and predictable joke I know, but I couldn’t resist). Either way it was Wailing Wall to wall big beards, black hats and black suits.

Dome on the Rock and Hasidic Jews at the Wailing Wall, Jeruselam, Israel

Hasidic Jews at the Wailing Wall, Jeruselam, Israel

My wish in the Wailing Wall, Jeruselam, Israel

When I got back to the hostel I found that my pack had been broken into. They couldn’t get into the main part because I keep it locked up and as far as I can tell all they got was my Swiss Army Knife. Surprisingly I am not even slightly fussed about this. Which is lucky because it’s not every day that you get robbed and don’t give a fuck. I figured it was the junkie Ruskies and one shitty old Swiss Army Knife is a small price to pay for a good nights sleep.